There are times when mommies and daddies battle over their love for their kids. Well, that’s kinda cute. Of course,both the parties love them but sometimes I wonder whose love is stronger. Women are soft hearted and are more emotional than men. Men seldom expose their emotions and hold it to their heart. But there is love from both sides.
Men don’t mind even if they have to stay apart from their kids for long. They don’t worry much about small issues. They are of the view that even if they are apart, their relation will remain stable. But for women, small issues becomes big issues. Every little thing worries her.
And no wonder why every kids prefer their mom:)
Everything happened unexpectedly. Love, pregnancy and getting married. It all happened at the wrong time and when anything happens at wrong timing, life is bound to be hard. Life is not so smooth after all. No job, no separate home and no earnings. We are compelled to depend on our families. It’s a shame but we are left with no choice. We(me and my husband) had to continue our studies to fulfill our dreams. Yeah, we are blessed with good people around us and so we are given the opportunity to chase our dreams. But it became impossible to keep the baby with us since we both had to attend classes and there is no one to look after. We had to leave our baby with his family(my in-laws).
It’s hard to live apart from our baby. I had to go through so many tensions and emotional traumas. It’s really hard. The guilt of not being a loving mother and the fact that someone else is doing my duties. It breaks me apart to think that my baby may not have any feelings towards me when I come back. And what hurts the most is the fact that the bond between me and my baby is lost after weaning. She(my baby) doesn’t search for me anymore. That hurts. Everyone says I’m being too pessimistic. But I can’t handle this feeling anymore. It’s not easy when I see other moms with their kids doing what a mother should do.
Is it my greed to achieve my dreams that made all these things happen? Partly it may be true. I should have just be a stay at home mom. But when I think of the financial issues, I really wanted to chase my dreams and overcome all these financial problems. I chose to chase my dreams first and come back for my baby. Did I make a foolish decision? Will I regret in the future? I hope someday something magical happen. I hope and wish that time come soon. I wanna be strong and fight all these mess with courage. There are times i wanna give up when i miss my baby too much. There are times i get angry with my life. And sometimes i blame my husband for everything( though it’s not his fault).
These days are my hardest days of my life. I wanna get out of it but I’m stuck. I know that if I work hard everything could be settled one day. But waiting is hard too. I wish time passes soon. I wish my dreams come true. I wish all what I planned come true. A perfect job, perfect home and perfect family where no one has to live apart. And a happy ending after all.
Life was beautiful when I was younger without phone or Internet. I was studious and could spent the whole day reading. My mind was filled with memories of the things I’ve learned. I was really intelligent. I had no idea about mobile phone or Internet. I never get bored. Every moment was beautiful.
With the advent of mobile phones, it all changed. Life is boring without phone and Internet. The only way to enjoy my life is through Internet. And yeah, phone without Internet is useless nowadays. I make friends through Internet. I spend 80% of my days and nights online(YouTube, Facebook, WhatsApp, online games, Google, or whatever). I can’t imagine my life without them. Life is hell when I ran out of Internet pack. But I make sure that I recharge enough of it. I spend half of my pocket money on Internet. Surely I prefer Internet pack over chocolates. I don’t eat on time and I’m always sleep deprived. But i don’t care about anything else. That’s me and I’ve seen many of my friends live like me.
But hey! That’s not real life. I shouldn’t live like this forever. I know I need to get out of this trap. I’m just addicted to it and I need some rehab. My mind is filled with games and videos. My memory power became so weak. Most of the daily activities are skipped just to spend more time with phone. Procastination became my habit. I misused Internet. And most importantly, I’m not healthy. Is this what I want? Am I happy with this life? Can I continue this way forever?
Oh! No no my dear, get out of this. A time will come when no one can support you anymore and you have to live by yourself. You gonna need some earnings!! For Christ’s sake, let’s change for good!!!
If I don’t change right here right now, I’m gonna be a loser in life. Internet should be used only for knowledge. Yeah i know it all. I know the pros and cons but I’m just too lazy to change. But i know from my heart i never want this to continue forever. I want to become someone resourceful to the society someday. To achieve that dream i need to make schedules and follow them strictly. Yeah, no more of it. No more of it other than for educational purposes. I’m a student and I should live like a real one. Or else, I know I’m gonna regret for the rest of my life when it cannot be undone again. I should avoid regrets in future.
Let’s start a change. Do for yourself today that your future self will thank you.:)
Everyone makes mistakes. Yes, that’s natural. But do we know that it’s a ‘MISTAKE’ when we are doing it at that moment? Maybe NO or YES! Are we aware that we will regret for our actions one day? Who knows!
We might be aware of it. We might be aware that it’s not right and that it could hurt us one day. BUT!! We never knew how worse it could turn out! We never imagined how it could shatter our life and break our heart regretting for what’s gone and that which cannot be undone. REGRETS hurts the most. Yes, it hurts. It hurts so much that we wish we never did it.
A single mistake shatters your life forever. The unimaginable happens. Life is not fair. Yes, everyone is aware of that. But it’s our fault and we have to face the consequences. It is our duty to correct that mistake. It is in our hands to create something magical and replace it with a new chapter. No one lives their lives perfectly. It is natural and a normal course of life to make mistakes. The world is a beautiful place to live in but we, humans created miseries and hurt ourselves.
What is life without pain and what is a rose without thorns?
Live your life cautiously but do not forget to enjoy!!